Thinking ahead to the new year

To live a fulfilled life, we need to keep creating the “what is next”, of our lives. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here
Mark Twain

I haven’t written much for the last few weeks, lots of excuses, poorly children, husband has been away a lot. But the reality is that I lost my nerve. I got scared and the doubt got the better of me. I started to think about who I was writing for, and I got sucked into the world of “find your niche” and “grow your email list”, “How to get a million Instagram followers”, and “make everyone on the internet read your blog with Pinterest” etc etc!.. I started to get overwhelmed and I forgot what the point was. I forgot that I started writing for me, to help my head. And surprise surprise the more time I spent on social media, the worse I started to feel and the less I was able to write.

I do want there to be a point to this and I have been thinking about how I’d like to use blogging to make changes to myself and for my family. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about money, but what I would really like is to get us closer to living how we would really like to live. I’d like my husband to be able to give up his job and do something more fulfilling (he has such a lot of creativity and skills that he doesn’t get to use anything like enough); I’d like to develop some healthier habits around food and exercise (one gym session every couple of weeks is not really making a whole lot of difference); We’d like to be more present and mindful parents (our kids are currently babysat by Chase, Captain Barnacles and Duggee more than we would like); We’d like to do more for the planet (recycling is clearly not quite going to cut it!). We really want to get our finances under control (being free to follow dreams is not quite so easy when you have an expensive mortgage, debt and no savings).

(Sidenote – is that the correct way to use semicolons – never been sure?)

I’m currently thinking ahead to 2019 and doing some work around goal setting. I’m formulating a vague plan to work on a different thing each month, like a healthy habit or a step towards where we want to be. I often set goals for myself but I usually aim too high, decide to change several things all at once and rarely manage it. I might make small changes but because I don’t manage to do it all I always feel like I’ve failed. Part of the way that I am wired is that I am full of ideas and enthusiasm and I am a bit deficient in follow through. Next year, I want to try something different. By doing one thing a month, I’m only committing to one thing, I’m giving it a chance to stick, and if it does I can the build on it the following month.

Some of the things that I would like to work on…

I want to be more conscious about what I am doing or not doing with my children. I’m not aiming for perfect parenting but upping the connection and joy and reducing the irritation and rushing would be nice.

I want to be a more conscious consumer, I’m realistic enough to know that I couldn’t manage plastic free or zero waste, but to be more aware of what I am buying, making deliberate choices rather than wandering round the supermarket on autopilot is definitely possible.

I want to manage my finances in a much more deliberate and mindful way. It’s too easy to spend money we don’t really have on things we don’t really need with barely a second thought.

I want to be more conscious about my body, how I care for it, what I fuel it with and how I protect and strengthen it. I may have just signed up for quite a big physical challenge which is a bit terrifying, more on that later!

I want to be more conscious in my relationships. I’d like to make more phone calls, talk to people properly, see people face to face more often and connect.

I want to consciously engage in my community. Big girl starting school has shown me the how lovely it can be to be part of a community. I’m terrible at putting down roots but I want to. I’d love to feel settled and involved.

I want to nurture my creativity. I have been painting, drawing and am currently trying my hand at a sewing project, all of which are good for my brain and are an emotional outlet. There is an added bonus that I am practicing failure, something I am terrible at! 

So lots to think about. Lots of ideas, and I will be thinking a bit more over the coming weeks about how what I want to achieve and  exactly this is going to look. 

So what’s my hashtag going to be (said with a heavy dose of irony – I really struggle with the whole social media thing, but I know it could be really cool to do this with some people). #consciousliving #livingconsciously #onemonthatatime #theeverydayproject? Anyway, I can work out the details later.

If you have any thoughts I would love to hear them.

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